Phyllis Yaffe (née Cohen)

1948 - 2025

With a profound sense of loss, and enduring love and admiration, Phyllis’ family shares news of her peaceful passing at home on her seventy-seventh birthday (November 8), ending a fifty-five year struggle with Multiple Sclerosis. Phyllis is deeply mourned by husband Mark, the two having initially caught each other’s eye across a crowded room fifty-two years ago. Courtship was initially challenging because of Mark’s medical school schedule, but Phyllis’ gentleness, warmth, graciousness, intellect, and easy conversation rapidly led to a loving and mutually supportive fifty-one year marriage. Phyllis is equally mourned by cherished daughter Miriam, who Phyllis nurtured with sensitivity, understanding, encouragement, sense of values, and unconditional love. Phyllis deeply appreciated the good nature and support from son-in-law Stephen Rabinovitch; while for her grandchildren Livia and Ashton Rabinovitch, Phyllis showed loving smiles, caring, and a deep interest in what they were doing. She quietly lived with the sadness that her illness often prevented her from being more involved in the lives of those who were so important to her.

Phyllis is predeceased by parents Anne and David Cohen (Ottawa), brother Alan Cohen (Gatineau), brother-in-law Ronald Krasnick (Stockbridge, Massachusetts) , and much loved and appreciated in-laws Betty and Leo Yaffe. She is survived by brother and sister-in-law Gerry and Karen Couf Cohen (Franklin, Michigan); sister-in-law Carla Yaffe Krasnick (Stockbridge, Massachusetts); niece Shelley Krasnick (Seattle, Washington), nephew Alex Krasnick (Longmont, Colorado), and nieces Sarah and Sophie Cohen (Detroit). Phyllis is also remembered by many cousins in Canada, the United States, and Israel.

Phyllis’ creative skills revolved around her oil and water colour paintings, while her intellectual pursuits were heavily directed towards her on-going passion for the visual arts. She received a BA in Fine Arts from Concordia University; did a Masters thesis at McGill exploring the pastoral works of Claude Monet; and received a PhD from McGill for her thesis analyzing the significance of those Pablo Picasso canvases that depicted not only his models, but also the artist himself. Phyllis went on to be a dynamic lecturer in Art History at the University of Western Ontario, McGill University, and the Liberal Arts College of Concordia University.

Phyllis was determined to not let Multiple Sclerosis define who she was or what she did. Unfortunately during her teaching career universities had little accommodation for those with disability, and she reluctantly pulled back from work in the academic setting. She re-created herself into a one- person company, aptly called ConnaisÀrt, and through it she enthusiastically responded to invitations to give art history and art appreciation lectures in the community. She also positioned herself as a broker between artists seeking promotion of their works, and individuals interested in buying contemporary art. Her experience with academic writing, along with appreciation of what artists were trying to do with their art, led to commissions for Phyllis to successfully author books about two Quebec artists. 

Phyllis was of the generation of MS victims for whom medications sadly turned out to be of little value. As her illness progressed Phyllis reduced career interests and some family activities in order to focus on self-care. She asserted that Multiple Sclerosis was a “Thief”, periodically robbing her of some function, skill, or ability to interact easier with family and friends. Despite this Phyllis rarely complained, living with quiet resolve.  She would, however, frequently enquire of her many caregivers as to how they were doing, and they commonly observed how often she would express a “thank you” for the simplest, routine act of help. Such politeness was also witnessed during a time period when she was having frequent nightmares, and from such disturbed dreams would call out urgently for help, with a simple utterance of “please help”. Mark often wondered if this request went beyond a bad dream, and was referring to her overall situation.

Phyllis’ family expresses appreciation to colleagues and staff of St. Mary’s Hospital who over the years sought creative ways to try to help ease difficult situations. Sincere thanks goes to the dedicated and knowledgeable collaborative Home Palliative Care team from Mount Sinai Hospital, CLSC René-Cassin SAPA program and NOVA. Special thanks to pharmacists Sandra Messias and Larissa Feldman, along with their staff, for years of professionalism, responsiveness, and concern for Phyllis and Mark. The family is also deeply grateful to those people who consistently remained in touch and supportive, especially cousins Carol and Seymour Posner, lifelong friend Eric Shoub, Randy and Robert Zittrer, and Sandra and Jacques Hendlisz. Some 24 personal support workers were employed over the years to help Phyllis, and there is particular grateful appreciation to Rheza, Rose, Ellen, Margie, and Ruvie for incredible commitment and dedication. 

Funeral service from Paperman & Sons, 3888 Jean Talon St. W. on Monday, November 10 at 12:00 p.m. Burial at the Dorshei Emet Section, Eternal Gardens Cemetery, Beaconsfield. Shiva at her home. Donations in Phyllis’ memory may be made to MS Canada,  (514) 849-7591 or click here; St. Mary’s Hospital Foundation, (514) 734-2694 or click here; the Mount Sinai Hospital Foundation, 514-369-2222 ext. 31299 or click here; or to NOVA Home Care, (514) 866-6801 or click here.